The Illusion of Love: How Alcohol Tricks Us Into Settling for Less

Kohdi Rayne
2 min readFeb 21, 2023

Let’s talk about love and alcohol, shall we?

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Alcohol has a way of making us feel loved, even on our darkest days when we feel like no one is around.

There’s a certain dimension of connection that we feel when we’re under the influence, as if we’re able to disconnect from everything that’s making us feel less than human.

It’s like a warm hug from the inside out, a reward for surviving through all the tough times.

But the truth is, there’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved.

Most of us turn to alcohol because we want to feel loved, hoping that it will come from others.

And when we struggle to feel that love, we find comfort in the all-immersive experience that alcohol provides.

It’s an illusion that penetrates every cell of our body, making us feel like we’re finally getting what we deserve.

But this illusion of love is just that: an illusion.

We’re willing to suffer just to feel like we matter, settling for fake love when we convince ourselves that we don’t deserve the real thing.

We use alcohol to detach from the waiting game of love, finding nearly instant gratification in the illusion of love coursing through our minds.

The thing is, this illusion is just as intoxicating as the real thing.

We’ll take any amount of love, whether it’s true or not, just so we don’t feel like we’re drifting further from our purpose.

We’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve the love that others receive because it’s harder for us to love.

But that’s just the alcohol talking, trying to be the savior of our world.

The truth is, love is a state of being.

It’s an energetic force that flows through our entire body and mind, an unstoppable element that cannot be penetrated by a poison.

Our ability to love while drinking is only as true as our ability to love ourselves.

If the only way we know how to love ourselves is through alcohol, then we’ve confused love with destruction.

It’s time for us to be selfish for a little while, taking a step back from the poison and allowing the pain that we’re drinking through to forge the tools we need to love ourselves for exactly who we are, even at our lowest.

One less drink is one more step towards real love.

It’s not about being perfect, it’s about accepting ourselves and treating ourselves with kindness and respect.

It’s about recognizing that we deserve real love, and taking the necessary steps to find it

Reading this is one more step towards real love and I’m so proud of you.

-Kohdi | Beyond Sober



Kohdi Rayne

I’m an ex-alcoholic and liver failure survivor actively helping the world recover from toxic habits and design a life they love to live.