The Journey to Resilience: From Rock Bottom to a Life Beyond Sober

Kohdi Rayne
3 min readMar 20, 2024

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Hitting rock bottom is a term commonly used to describe a defining moment in one’s life. It is that critical point when a person has fallen so far that the only way left is up.

Kohdi Rayne | Drunk @ 19yo — Beyond Sober

For me, rock bottom came in the form of liver failure. It was during surgery, when my heart stopped, that I had a profound realization — I had been emotionally dead for many years. My life had spiraled out of control as I consumed 30 to 45 shots of alcohol daily. But it was at that exact moment when my heart ceased to beat that I truly started living.

In the depths of my despair, I clung to the belief that alcohol held some sort of magical power over me. Each sip promised an escape from anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and the trauma fueling my alcoholic behavior. But it was all a facade of control. When a doctor informed me that I had less than seven days left to live, there was no denying the gravity of my circumstances. In that moment, I made the choice to live and with it came an unexpected gift — peace.

The next 18 months were filled with excruciating pain and trauma beyond anything I had ever experienced before. I lost everything — my ability to walk, think clearly, and even speak coherently. It became clear to me then that surviving the aftermath was more traumatic than what had driven me towards alcohol in the first place.

Yet amidst this struggle, something profound began to emerge within me — the resilience built during years of poisoning myself became the very strength I needed to transform into someone who didn’t depend on alcohol for survival.

Today marks seven years since my last sip of alcohol; seven years since I embarked on a journey beyond soberness. Through sheer determination and unwavering commitment, complete recovery became possible for me. Along this arduous path, there were moments where I questioned my own existence, where the weight of each passing day threatened to consume me.

However, it was during these moments that I discovered an incredible truth — within me lay an unyielding strength capable of enduring even in the face of immense adversity. I learned that despite feeling irreparably broken, growth was always within reach.

It is with this wisdom that I hope to guide and inspire those who may be struggling. If you constantly focus on your perceived weaknesses, you will never recognize the strength that resides within you. Always remember, there is a path forward from rock bottom.

Your journey may take a different form than mine, and your rock bottom may present itself in a unique manner. But know this — you possess a power far greater than you can imagine and every new day brings an opportunity for growth.

In sharing my story of resilience and recovery, I aim to provide solace to those who find themselves battling their own demons. There is beauty in the realization that we are not alone in our struggles; we are united by our capacity for resilience.

From rock bottom to a life beyond sobriety, each step taken towards healing serves as a testament to the indomitable spirit within us all.

Kohdi Rayne | Beyond Sober

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Kohdi Rayne
Kohdi Rayne

Written by Kohdi Rayne

I’m an ex-alcoholic and liver failure survivor actively helping the world recover from toxic habits and design a life they love to live.

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