The Sipping Point: Where Alcohol Meets Confidence in the Life of a Sober Mind

Kohdi Rayne
3 min readFeb 9, 2023


It’s time to talk about the illusion of confidence and how alcohol is acting like your best friend who hypes you up, even though they know you have no idea what you’re doing.

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Remember, the cool kids in high school who told you that you could handle that whole bottle of tequila, but didn’t mention the massive headache, dry mouth, and regret that would come the next day?

But let’s be real, we all want to feel as if we know what we’re doing and it’s natural to want to disconnect from the thoughts and feelings that hold us back.

Can you recall the last time you were driving and you put on loud music to block out the fact that you’re lost?

However, real confidence isn’t pretending that you don’t have any problems.

The illusion of confidence that alcohol provides is just that, an illusion.

You’re not confident, you just don’t care about how silly you might look in that universe.

You’re completely disconnected from what really needs your attention.

It’s the same as when you watch a movie and the characters are all speaking in a foreign language and you pretend to understand, but you’re really just going with the flow.

Overtime, we become dependent on the illusion and we continue to paint a picture to people that doesn’t exist.

This is how social media is also an illusion.

You only post the good stuff, hiding all of the messy parts of life.

But that’s where real confidence comes in.

Nobody is thinking about you the way you think they are.

As soon as you give yourself permission to stop worrying about what other people are worrying about, you’ll step into a space of authenticity where it doesn’t matter if you have food in your face because you’re wearing it with confidence.

There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging.

“Liquid courage” is embracing an illusion of your ideal self with alcohol fit into the crowd.

Belonging is when you go to the party and find someone who likes your favorite obscure band and you can talk about them for hours.

No alcohol needed.

The more you master confidence while you’re sober, the better experience you will have while under the influence.

Alcohol is a tool to add value and enhance your quality of life, not to help you pretend like you’re someone that you’re not.

So, give yourself permission to be uncomfortable and become confident in your insecurities.

It’s like when you try a new food and you’re scared it won’t taste good, but then it turns out to be the best thing you’ve ever eaten.

Embrace the unknown and enjoy the journey.

It’s time to break the cycle and focus on your sobriety and mental health.

When you finally find a regimen that works for you, you feel so much better, both physically and mentally.

And honestly, it’s not like you have to give up alcohol forever.

Sobriety is more about developing a healthier relationship with alcohol, allowing yourself to grow, and becoming the better version of yourself.

Because think about it, who wouldn’t want to be truly confident in their own skin?

-Kohdi | Beyond Sober



Kohdi Rayne

I’m an ex-alcoholic and liver failure survivor actively helping the world recover from toxic habits and design a life they love to live.